Auth band rocks the fuck out

Posted by carles | March 27, 2015 | 30 Comments

After this week’s QT backlash, it feels like Carles.Buzz has lost itz way. How can we return to the ‘unscalable indie’ roots of auth?

Dude? You like PC Music? You’re fuckin wack. True auth is all about ‘rocking out.’ It’s about guitars. It’s about just ‘letting go’ and playing the small stage because your guitar vibes haven’t scaled yet. Using your guitar to really touch the masses with ‘vibey’ rock, appealing to the last remnants of indie.

AUTH OUT WITH UR COCK OUT!

Auth is about emotion. It’s not about post-EDM trends that have a better chance of scaling.

It’s about embracing ‘life’ as a family. Preparing 2 have kids. It is about ‘getting fat’ and ‘having a fat, wide-hipped partner’ who is ready to pump out your babies because you keep rawdogging the fuck out of her no-longer-tyte-after-passing-a-child-thru-it lil pussie. Sometimes u just have to open up that refrigerator filled with margarine and Toll House cookie dough. U just gotta have some weird looking kid, pretend it is cute, and live a ‘happie’ life.

It’s about THE FANS. Artists CONNECTING with fans, turning the tribe into ppl with a genuine, authentic connxn.

We are just fans, searching for experiences where we feel closer 2 ‘artists.’ Artists make us feel alive. Artists give us hope that we aren’t just trapped in meaningless lives’. Musicians create portable memories [via moments]. We’ve gotta create those 1-to-1 connections, really just vibe out with our auth heroes.

Cmon. This is something new. ‘Unlike anything ever before’ -the cultural ‘movement’

‘Culture’ is just the formulaic response 2 oppressive contemporary vibes/human_themes. There is nothing meaningful.

////except 4 auth/////////////////////////

I still believe in us.

Has auth lost it’s way?
Are you officially ‘out’ on auth?
What other elements of auth need 2 be discussed in order to truly pave the way 4 an auth life?
auth-band-rocks

What do u want 2 read about next week?
What type of content do u want from Carles.Buzz?
How many comments does the most auth Carles.Buzz post get? 0?

Related topix:

Read more blogs abt Fringe Web
  • jKaps

    now we’re talking! Have a ‘few more drinks’ and tell us how u really feels

  • HollyBroLightly

    i really thought i had made it to a better place [via weekly sessions with my therapist]. even though i’m sure i’m moving in the right direction while still acknowledging my own limitations [via a healthy amount of self-reflection and goal setting], i’m finding myself feeling more overwhelmed than ever…maybe nothing matters after all, bb

  • JacquiChan

    Is auth ‘effing over’?

    • iansamry

      it was alvvays effing over bb.

  • SkyKid

    why the F are they just standing in front of the refridgies w/ the F’n door open!

    wasteful, and not all together too brite

    <3'd the tune tho

  • Sierra

    wtf is a brian lanning? that was cringeworthy, thanks

  • Authopedic

    these vidz hurt my face
    i didn’t even watch the brain lamping one
    i don’t want my brain lamped
    tell me about something u <3 bb
    like a story
    or maybe a poem
    or tell us how shitty something popular is.

    <3 u bro.

  • I’d like to bang u

    I wanna let it all go
    Via getting fat on cookie dough yo

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      I wish every band could scale like com truise or Tycho or XXYYXX and always hang out in the right hand window of youtube browser gaining millions of hits. Cool music being delivered right to me me but not even sure if they are a band that plays in real life. I like websites targeting my music taste.

      • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

        Carles are you down to do an investigational hit piece on how they paid youtube to do this? Am i the only one who experiences this?

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      Being fat kinda sucks.. your pants never fit right and you always cringe at your reflection

  • Bronello_Cucinelli

    please write a post detailing ‘5 fresh ways to rock jogging pants’ or maybe ‘how to wear sneakers with a suit’

  • Youth Group Bro

    Carles bb, Auth failed before it even began. It’s just an even more niche form or consumption than Indie, given a contrived label and an exclusionary concept of community. You were always at your best when you were cruelly lampooning various aspects of millennial culture. Now you’re trying hard to ascribe objective meaning to some poorly defined subset of that culture. Does “nothing matter” or are you now saying that “nothing matters, but this artificial cultural space I’m trying to carve out with this blog.”?

    • dat_bro06

      ‘We’ll never be royals’
      (unless this song goes mad viral)
      -Lordy Lord

  • Christopher

    This is way more ‘elfin auth’ than any QT or SOPHIE or Huddymohawks

    Connect with real feelings and be a family man (or woman) do whatever TF you want
    (as long as it is pretty chill)

    don’t give into any kind of fad or labeling system (unless its the label machine ur wife bought you for anniversary gift) :)

  • emmawatsonhardstyle

    <3 conquers nauth. maybe do something on slam poetry and how it's so auth, nauth, uplifting and 'effin terrible'

  • carlito’s way

    I was thrown off at first, but pretty sure this was satirical? surely Carles could not be advocating embracing the archetypical mainstream lifestyle [via getting fat 2.5 kids]. Or is he? If he is I effing h8 it but w/e. ur a smrty carles. PC stuff is eh but i dig the vibes. its at least new.

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      I also listen to music and love it b3cause of its new sound

  • shatteredx

    i like the 10 yr old drummer with cat whiskers friend

  • tay

    carles

    oh my god carles

    i am laughing so hard im having a panic attack

    please stop carles

    you are going too hard in the paint

    tay

    ps don’t really stop im just kidding 😉

  • stewart

    Yea write a fashion post

  • bloggin bb

    not feelin this post, carles. Seems like a deviation from what auth is about and doesn’t have enough “substance”. I’ve enjoyed most of your posts since yr return tho. keep bloggin, bb

  • Marty Funkhouser

    Please blog about Kerri MacLellan. Ass Burgers Chic

  • ar12

    I’m going to stop thinking too much about what is “auth” and what is not. If I think it sucks, then I won’t listen to it. If I think its good, then ok cool. But I still believe in Auth.

  • twentysomething

    Dude, you know what I wanna read about? Your thoughts on postmodernism and deconstruction. I mean actual philosophy, like PhD philosophy. Don’t you think that were trending in a direction where people think everything is meaningless, because they deconstruct our concepts of “truth”? I mean, on some level we know were just some monkeys on a rock flying through space, and one day were all gonna be fucking dead. Thats true. Watch Cosmos, lol. Anyway, also, if aliens listened to our music they would probably think it was hella weird, because they probably have a totally different system of hearing these vibrations that we call music. Our stuff might sound like total shit to them. Or just like, meaning in general seems to be pretty much based in language. Post Structuralist people like Derrida and Foucoult think that. Is the modern song a social consruction? lol. You should write a post about how nothing means anything, and postmodernism. It’s a subject that seems to be on your same brainwave. Anyway, that is my two cents.

    • dat_bro06

      Feels like ‘group selection’ would dictate that a species with an oversized brain like the homo sapiens could only survive if said brains were mutated in such a way that individuals invented concepts like meaningfulness and assigned them to arbitrary subjects, like the societal or family unit, pets, vibrations, ‘life itself’, Patagonia jackets, breathing exercises, etc

      In the absence of this ‘flaw’ in our nature, feels like we would most definitely talk ourselves out of reproduction / survival (and we are still here)

      And so I predict that in the future despite our scientific self awareness / sneaking suspicion that ‘nothing matters’, we will continue to ‘take up the banner’ assigning meaning to and caring about random things based on identity politics & personal preferences

      Maybe consumer_wave junk like NO MORE (domestic abuse)
      Maybe LeanIn_wave concerns like trying 2 promote gender issues

      Maybe there will be some big biological crisis or plague and we will get all recursive, deriving meaning from trying to ‘save’ the planet for later generations to <3 / h8

  • N A U T H B O I

    Thinkin about a wide hipped QT pumping out my bbys made my peen hard

    sry just being auth

  • carles #1 fan

    who am i sis?

  • DadRockAroundtheClock

    Original Auth Rocking on some next level life experiencing:

    https://youtu.be/omoOLhDdTPA

  • Ce Ele

    mad auth. those kids.