Lesbian Bro Contemporary Conformist

Posted by carles | June 9, 2015 | 38 Comments


I was ‘getting jacked’ on the Women’s World Cup, since that is what Contemporary Conformists do. It is about ’embracing America’ and going to the urban centre of town to celebrate the ‘new sport’ of soccer that is ‘catching on’ [via thinking that because of the culturally relative absence of professional soccer from ‘America’]

I couldn’t help but notice this ‘be urself’ piece on United States midfielder Megan Rapinoe. She seems like a chill BB who vibes out somewhere remote between Portland and Seattle. Sorta just hangin out by a lake, splattering paint on shit while she vibes on guitar with her #partner and they drink SICK coffee while talking like vibed out surfer bros.

Don’t get me wrong, being a lesbian is chill. You can have sex with whoevz ‘gets you off’ [via ‘there probz isnt a God who actually cares abt guy-on-guy/girl-on-girl], but it is funnie to see this ‘slick’ produced Contemporary Conformist piece of content.

“Do you mind splashing some fucking paint on a canvas or some shit. Be an artist or whatever.”
making-art

Sorta need some Contemp Conform leather watch bands without watches on them or some shit.
leather-goods

Do u ever just want to settle down with a nice modern plaid lumberjack wearing human (who just outgrew a skater phase) who can strum on a guitar and sing with u in ur beautiful house with SICK exposed wood?
lumber-jack-project

Be urself, yall! get some paint and splash it on stuff and also wear clothes that highlight ur true innerself.
lezbo-megan-rapinoe

Is Contemporary Conformism about ‘bring the vibes of the Pacific Northwest’ eastward?
pacific-northwest
Did Starbuxx already commodify the Great Northwest vibez?

Sorta just want some premium contemporary conformist roasted beans.
roasting-beans

U gonna go ‘celebrate America’ with ‘educated’ Contemporary conformists who want to ‘celebrate women’ and America?
Got a cool microbrew pub in the changing area of town?
Do u know any lesbian bro Contemporary Conformists?
Are they the newest brand of lesbians?
Do u think they ‘stole’ the post-bro Contemporary Conformist man look?
Do u know how 2 be urself?
Are ppl too tolerant these days? [via not being able to ‘riff’ on race/religion/etc]
Should all female athletes ‘not come out’ so that they ‘appeal’ to mainstreamers in Middle America… or should they just dress as Contemporary Conformists?

Is being urself the most important thing, or is there even a ‘self’ 2 gather from life experiences?

Previous auth p0sts

Contemporary Conformity
The Contemporary Conformist.
Contemporary Conformist Values: COFFEE
Contemporary Conformists Create Their Own ContempConformie Local Biz News Streams
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  • Sierra

    Is she a yuccie or a wussie?

  • bro on carles dot buzz

    so is contemporary conformism pretty much summed up as pacific northwest-wave anything? what if you live in the pacific northwest? is it auth then to embrace coffee/plaid/post-skater era anything since the #pnw locals created that vibe for themselves?

    • http://www.twitter.com/macostarz macostarz

      Think you’ve asked a good question: maybe the sound of authentic contemporary conformity is #postgrunge? It’s ‘about time’ to bust out the old matchbox twenty and creed ‘compact discs’

      • Told ya

        No real madrid fan watches barca win
        Duh
        #halaMADRID

  • the same bro, aka Ry

    “u roast ur own shit or what?”
    LAWLZ

  • i knit things

    carles thnk you for policing the memes

    • i knit things

      but do you think that’s rly their house?

  • For the sake of nothing

    I’d rather be a soulless version of batman then acknowledge who I really am. I’d rather let people tell me they’re hitting the wall and do nothing than be a real friend. I’d rather allow someone to care with actions and send a postcard. I’d rather watch you suffer then lend you a hand
    Because that’s the real me. Let’s party

  • bU

    Be who you are!!!!!!! Glittery ass cheeks and thighs like. Sexy back yall. This yr I’m starting a blog, I’m gonna semi retire from my beach vacation and get buzzy on my etsy site, it’s all the rage now. I esp enjoy modeling myself after the youth culture, they’re so hip!!!! So much to learn on Twitter – teach me? I’ve been sending out massive email threads and finally get it
    Thanks for explaining what’s cool to me.
    Esp the part on Kenny g. If any of you guys need help planning a bus ride to the country let me know, I’ll bring pizza.
    Fireworks too

  • JoshBrolin

    You never reply to my emails Carles

  • Bronello_Cucinelli

    carles please post your thoughts on nauth los angeles band FIRE IN THE HAMPTONS (as featured in this video)

    “A colorful array of remixed styles, from the polyphonic buzz of the early 80’s synthesizers to intricately strummed delayed guitar lines all riding on the back bone of deep house thumping kicks inspires and arranges the sound of this elcectric [sic]-hip-rock band. FITH is an auditory haven for the soul romping, hunger driven children of the sun.”

  • marrr

    I was going to say something on the contemporary approach to ‘commoner’ publicity… Too bad this woman turned out to be a professional athlete.

  • marrr

    The last question of the post got me thinking of the ‘be yourself’ statement actually being ‘gather your self from your own life experiences’ simplified to supremely scalable and marketable term…proceeding to the rise of the “commonly unique” individual – ultimately, contemporary conformist..

  • Fat bottom Girls

    Um bb did your ex gf show up at the local soccer establishment for champs final?
    Think she did. Think everyone knows. That is pure insanity people, or real dedication to stalking or soccer.,,, I dunno. Question I gotta know; how much fat has she gained really? Yea her hair looked good, but other than that. She should know that even tho she lost a lil weight, the amount she put on will take at least a year to really lose, especially talking bmi and overall fat content. Binge and purge, fads, juices, crash diets will only make her fattier and its really just a fat flush ️aka a quick fix anyway.

    Work hard/ play hard/ karma
    You’re welcome

  • Verify me

    Can anyone confirm the contemp conformity of the following?

    Pretty confident on the first one, number two I’m not sure of.

    1. Whiskey bars (tinder girls who love good music, good vibes, and good whiskey).

    2. Replying “Maybe” to an event on FB. It seems like the type of thing young professionals are more likely to do, whereas teens/college kids (who haven’t had to conform yet) just go big or go home. A 30 year old banjo playing chick might say “Maybe” because she wants to appear nice or like the invite wasn’t ignored.

    Or a 27 year old “IPA lover” might think that replying “Maybe” is a way to look like he’s free-wheeling and unpredictable.

    • Bronello_Cucinelli

      1. confirmed
      2. confirmed, via “maybe” meaning “I might just end up going to bed at 9PM instead because I have a skype meeting re some freelance graphic design work in the morning”

  • carles #1 fan

    stay strong evryone

    • Let’s wave next time

      Where’s my surprise? I waited
      I’m waiting…. Please tell me it’s yogurt, pancakes, fresh oj, or puppies’. Miss u bb

      • carles #1 fan

        yoghurt tbh

  • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

    This is unrelated but I hate sooooo fucking much Amy Schumar photobombing that gay couples engagement photoshoot. She just assumes that because she is famous they are going to be so obliged. It was so fuxking calculated… her show isnt like that big yet, but by doing this Bill Murray shit she knows she can blow up on major buzz sites who will positively reinforce this cheap move. And the public has bought into her shitty act and dont see it as an act of desperation.

    I fucking hate this time of existence. I hate this rule of positive reinforement on the internet. I hate the depoliticization of the left as it has now become just a moral guardian of political correctness and “awesome” positive vibes. I hate that people are so fucking stupid that they actually not only believe this shit but they like it. Like this is good enough for them… fuuuuuuuuuck

    • U know who

      Miss yA !!!! Looking good out there bb. Stay you because the real you is the way to go. Ur supes good looking and way existential

      • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

        Hello ME. How’s it gettin fucked out there?

    • dat_bro06

      if i had to rank funnie Female television actresses, it would be a very stiff competition for last place, amongst Amy Broehler, Tiny Fey Pants, and Zooey D.

      feels like Amy ‘Schumar’ is kind of like “Chris Farley for girls” …sad but very loud, self-shaming humor

      feels like the chicas in “Broad City” are actually kind of funnie. maybe they are borderline auth and would be fun 2 chill w/. realize Broehler is involved in that ‘nis. so was Hannibal Burris, the black bro who almost made the mistake of buying HRO.

      • ar12

        So not relative to anything but I actually think Melissa McCarthy is more like a female Chris Farley and she’s actually really funny.

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      Sorry Carles. i know we were talking CC up above and I pulled a net.stream critique.. but sometimes the two don’t feel too far apart.

      • Imbrocile

        You can always pull my finger honey!

  • Jonathan

    livin on the coast with mad acreage, paintin splatterz & sippin roasts with her 1994 grunge caricature gf seems ‘baller as shit’ via Zillow real estate 4 coastal oregon

  • stewart

    Still awesome

  • authcore2k15

    yo shout out to carles for mentioning the womens world cup is in canada this year #realtalk

  • dat_bro06

    bebe’s BACK, ya’ll.

  • Ur ma

    Dear Crls
    Eff u. I don’t believe in you anymore
    In fact u basically no longer exist to me
    Have fun out there. You liar. Go follow shit on fb u old ass jerk
    Hate u more now
    Than ever
    For real

  • Who are u

    Ditto bb
    Ur hair just won’t stop
    Miss u

  • XXX

    I’m srsly so effin horny….nsfw. I can hardly concentrate w out thinking of pawing myself as soon as I get home

    Help me

  • Kevathens

    Believe in yourself, bb!

  • Chrondell

    Ur funny. I like ur questions.