It was odd to know that I was part of nothing. While I spent my whole life attempting to avoid conformity, it left me at a place where I truly had nothing. It is still ‘positive’ that I am not part of the mass of schlub culture. However, the realization that I have no community is alarming.
Even if I want to be part of something.
Even if I want to make the world a better place.
Even if I want to ‘network’ for my own self-gain.
I cannot be grounded in a ‘common good’ that I can validate because I am post-morality.
I am so tolerant that I tolerate intolerance.
I had grown up in a neighborhood. Attended a high school. Attended college. Worked for a reputable employer that promoted work-life balance. Lived in a building with other people living in it. Frequented bars. Been in relationships. Pursued friendships.
I was not community building. I was not at the center of my world. It was all just an exercise in the self. Moving forward. Uploading content to the cloud. Sending my ‘interests’ and parts of my ‘self’ into the internet, desperately trying to build community.
At times, I thought about pinning down a significant other. Eternally bonding myself to another person. Grounding ourselves in the irrational progress of a family in the context of a community. Bonding myself to other families.
There is no community.
Community means accepting broken constructs in education, urban development, suburban development and everything else that is worth thinking about.
I cannot be absorbed.
I’m floating outside the membrane of the misconstrued definition of ‘community.’
