100 Days of Vibes: Day 4

Posted by carles | July 31, 2015 | 124 Comments


van loaded up
We loaded up mom’s old car. It was the biggest car we had. The next day, my entire life would change. I would venture towards a new place. A new life. A new set of challenges.

Or maybe nothing.

It was great saying good bye to every one. I felt like I had the attention and validation that I wanted my whole life. Part of building a new me meant leaving behind everything I had built socially. No more mother. No more illusion of father. The familiar face of brother and sister. The familiar face of the friends that I hated. The people who were physically interested in me were only a text message away when I felt like my emotions had to come out to play.

The van was loaded up. I had everything I would need.

I couldn’t sleep. It was just the night before everything was going to change and I was just trying to figure out what part of me made things feel like they were supposed to change. Every one else was so tethered in the past, holding on to what they were.

Nuking it all didn’t make sense to them. You can’t nuke what never really existed.

Every one only cares about themselves, even me.

Follow the 100 Days of Vibes Playlist here.

100 Days of Vibes: Day 3

Posted by carles | July 30, 2015 | 17 Comments


city-towers-center-tulsa-cityplex
I drove every day to the tallest building in the center of town. Every day, I’d go up the elevator to my floor with my coworkers. We’d feel pride as we shuffled into the elevator together. It was a club of insiders. We were high end laborers.

It felt like my life was centered around that building. When I’d go out at night, I’d see the tall building in the distance, hovering over the city. It was always watching me. It felt safe knowing that I could always find myself in relation to the building.

Sometimes people would ask what I did. I would point in the general direction of the tall building.

“I work there.”

“Up there in that building.”

Almost every one had a tale about the building. They knew some one who worked there. They once had to go to the building to deal with a matter that was important. They heard that the building was very nice.

“Yeah. That’s where I work. Pretty good view. Haha.”

They didn’t know what I did. They just knew that I was in the building.

One day, I told a man that I worked in the Building Centre in Center City Downtown, right in the heart of our city.

He was not from the city. He did not know the popular industries of our region. It was as if he wasn’t from this planet. Instead he asked me about my passions, my worldviews, my upbringing, and the influence of my parents/cultural relativity on my perception of the world.

“I work in the building,” I replied.

He looked as if he could see deep into my heart. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “The building will fall. The man will fall.”

Follow the 100 Days of Vibes Playlist Here.