Who is getting ‘the boot’? [VOTING OFF A COMMENTER]

Posted by carles | June 4, 2015 | 133 Comments

the0boot
Hello,
It seems as though I have getting MANY complaints about various commenters in the Carles.Buzz commenting community. Many have called for the bans of particular commenters who do not ‘advance the discussion’ of auth, culture, absurdity, contemporary conformism, vibes, nothing mattering, the death of art, the death of culture, umami, and everything that is important

Please nominate some1 by simply commenting their name. Feel free to add a description of why they should be banned underneath. We will give them one last post to ‘defend themselves’, and then they will be ELIMINATED if they don’t get the support of the chill_commenter_bros.

Thank you again.
May the odds be ever in ur gheyvor!

This is a nostalgic cultural reference meant to make it seem like we have a collective identity that was forged in the past.
vote-or-die

Who should be eliminated? [Please upvote]. Feel free to email me any lengthy cases that you want to remain anonymous. Thank you. -Carles.buzz

Related topix: ,

Read more blogs abt Carles
  • Authopedic

    Oh my christing fuck this post is such sweet delight.

    • Coolstorybro

      Cool story, bro

      • Authopedic

        *totally voted*

  • FaygoBro420

    give em the boot, the roots radicals
    give em the boot, ya know i’m a radical
    give em the boot, the roots reggae on my stereo
    danananananana

    • Authopedic

      get out.

    • Lazaroc

      I remember when listening to rancid seemed authentic and it felt good to start circle pits with the bros but now realize Vans was really just using Lars and Tim to sell more shoes. Come ruin your shoes at our shitty muddy festival then go buy some more #themachine.

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      Is that a picture of josh Groban upside down? Hilarious. I give you one upvote for that.

  • ghim Smythe

    Long time reader. 1st Time Commenter. I vote for FaygoBro420 for ending a word with excessive character repitition to express enthusiasm where a simple exclamation mark will suffice. (ex. “danananananana”)

    • FaygoBro420

      it’s the guitar turnaround asshole.

  • carles #1 fan #1 fan

    You mess with my sweet angel, I kill you. It’s that simple.

    • Authopedic

      get this idiot out of here.

    • Cowboy the Dog

      What a fucking time to be alive!!!!!
      My sweet angel –
      Do you recall when we all rode
      Apple bottom waves
      I told you then
      this would happen

      I’m so Sry
      It really sucks that this is happening to you
      How many times can one person
      Be thrown out of a club before they fly away forever

      Geez
      What’s it gonna take?
      Let’s see
      First it was early fall with friend stalking your new love interest
      Again in winter

      Now it’s
      Oh poor me waves
      Hellllllooooooooooo
      Supes crazy don’t need no intro here

      We all know
      In fact
      Hi! Reading this now aren’t we?

      Bye

      Never give up on your dreams to destroy everything beautiful in life for the sake of personal insecurities and misery

      Am I rite?

      • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

        ME is that you… the fuck does everyone start writing fucking shit poem style comments in the comments now.

    • carles #1 fan

      let’s start a motorcycle gang

      • No Namezzzzzz

        Please let’s
        Can I drive ?

        • carles #1 fan

          aw hell yeah bby

        • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

          Me

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      ME

      • Me fever

        Shut the fuck up Bebe Z
        You has been 21 burn out plastic
        Get more collegian in your lips already

        Taurus bb

        • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

          Yapyap. You should get some sleep.

          • Bebe z is me

            It’s early in Berlin
            Go back to school bestie
            U will have nothing
            Forever

            Wait n see

  • marrr

    I’m certainly not going to browse through the blog and analyze what individual commenters wrote, though it would be a “fair” way to do something like this..
    I don’t mind occasional joking on the subject or humorous random crap, but in these comments joking and random crap-to-relevant content ratio is HUGE. It’s distracting and I believe discouraging to the author – no one would really feel taken seriously in his place.
    I’m not sure if banning commenters is a necessity in this case, we’re all “civilized” people. But then again, big deal, this is internet.

    • Authopedic

      uh… i vote for this guy.

      • marrr

        Psh…I often wonder why am I here anyway.

        • Authopedic

          hm. vote rescinded.

  • Me

    Dude really
    Someone has that much time on their hands to email I about comments on a blog
    Like wow
    Get a grip
    I’ll just change my name
    Say my name
    Say my name

    With a shape of a. L on their forehead
    Hey now
    Ur a rockstar
    Get ur game on!!’

    • AA

      I vote 4 this person

      • Me

        Please email Crls a 75 page
        Anonymous letter

        Written by ur cool friends
        That troll blogs

        In hopes that stalking ex gf’s
        Made sense
        Somehow

        K??

        Thanks
        You’re welcome
        Me

        I’ll be back again
        On Christmas day

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      Why do people write comments in the format of song lyrics on this site.

      • Me2001 space odd

        Life is a song
        U silly gym rat
        I have 1000 names

        Thank u
        Luv u bb

        • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

          Yeh.. cancer baby.

          Carles.. i have been commenting since 2008. That gives me at least 7 votes. 7 votes for ME

          • U are me

            Taurus bb z
            Get s IRL real life
            And name
            U has been

  • Bronello_Cucinelli

    two auths enter
    one auth leaves

    seems unchill.
    have u been watching mid-2ks reality shows crls?

    • homespunauth

      no 1 has voted 4 u yet?

  • alexander

    i’m going to vote for myself

    EDIT: this is actually a nomination for “ME”

    • Someone Talked Yall

      Same here
      Me too
      I mean

  • ron

    I love puss

  • Read it and weep

    Hmmmmm

    Sounds like a case of the wacked out overly bored chicks from 9th grade…..
    It isn’t all about you.
    It fact in never was.
    Don’t come to someone’s city and stalk them ///Uninvited and unwelcome by everyone; then wonder why!!!!!!

    You jerk off
    Wake the fuck up!
    Get over it
    We’re all over you
    Now go back to whatever wifi cafe you crawled out of
    And look for obscure comments
    You think are about you
    To cry over

    Get a life
    A real one
    On your own
    Learn to stand on your own feet
    Stop trying to fill in the blanks
    You don’t get it
    It’s only about you
    Because you started it

    You fucked up crazy bitch

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      Hey why do people write comments in the format of song lyrics on this site.

      • Coolstorybro

        Brb, g2g write some HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK fan fiction. Keep in mind that I’m replying to your comments since 2007, so every line counts 8 times.

        I’m sure you’ll love it, honey, I cream my panties daily thinking of you and your swole muscles.

        • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

          And you upvoted your comments..

          • U

            Bebe Z
            U have no soul
            Via no real me
            Irl

      • Bronello_Cucinelli

        because
        carles sometimes uses a lot of line breaks
        like this

  • manofmanynames

    Carles#1fan because he’s a dirty liar. I’M carles’ #1 fan.

  • Kevathens

    Carles, banning someone sounds really uncool. Like, don’t become like Gawker.

    • Authopedic

      * also voted*

      • Kevathens

        No. I vote for nobody, this is a democracy I tell ya!

        • Authopedic

          no, i was voting for u to be booted. plz do the right thing and boot yrself immediately.

          • Kevathens

            Go barf in a bag.

          • Authopedic

            like, that sounds really uncool, bb.

          • Kevathens

            You should be familiar with it then, bb.

          • Authopedic

            excellent work.

  • JoshBrolin

    thecityismychurch

    • Authopedic

      *voted*

    • carles #1 fan

      aw

    • Bronello_Cucinelli

      nooooooo

  • Jonathan

    is it ‘open season’ on carles fans? this is like the hunger games except on a blog!

  • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

    I have been at the gym too much lately to comment a lot.

    my arms are getting effing huge though.

    • U

      Bebe z
      Early stages of plastic surgery waves

      2k15

    • MetaJD

      good on you bra, but make sure you train your whole body. if you want even bigger arms your muscles have to grow in proportion, otherwise you’ll hit a wall.

      • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

        Yeh. Plus it looks really sluggish if you have like huge arms but not toned anywhere else. Like the only thing you can do is a huge curl. Don’t worry bro, I keep it tight, compound lifts, full body, full core workout.

  • Lazaroc

    First.

    • carles #1 fan

      happy 4u

  • carles #1 fan

    oh no!

  • carles #1 fan

    “me”s name seems like it was actually a plot, for when this day came, now if we say i vote for “ME” it sounds like we are voting for ourselves! so suspenseful!!!

    • Me

      Duhhhhhhhhhhhh

      • carles #1 fan

        Love you Me

        • Me

          Oh bb I’m getting the boot!!!!!
          Fucking haters
          We all know it was that bored
          Lil cum slut
          All alone
          Stalking blogs
          And Crls
          And Crls gf
          Forever
          Via no life

          I love u bb

          It’s ok
          I’m me
          This land is ur land
          This land was made for u
          And
          Me

          • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

            Hey if you ever need support just let us know. In the meantime I found someone who might be able to help you in berlin http://www.individual-therapy-berlin.de/en
            Address

            Individual Therapy Berlin
            c/o Heilpraxen Berlin
            Schivelbeiner Strasse 47
            10439 Berlin-Prenzlauer Berg
            Germany

            S-Bahn/U-Bahn Schönhauser Allee
            Contact

            email:
            contact@individual-therapy-berlin.de

            Phone:
            +49-(0)1 76-23 17 11 70

            Visiting hours:
            Flexible – By appointment

          • Me!!!!!!!!!

            Yea!!!! Thanks
            Hoping they sedate me
            At least

          • Fred Authtaire

            Berlin is the Portland of Europe.

          • Nebro Rauch

            It’s ALL about Leipzig nowadays darling

  • carles #1 fan

    what happened to Crlsbergerbars?

    • Crlsbergbar

      I’ve just been waiting
      And watching
      My son grow
      From a far
      Like a good
      Shepard does

      Never losing my sight tho
      Of my sheep

      Love you my son

      • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

        ME is that you again… this format must stop…Carles kick the lot of these kind of commenters out of here.

        • Ur mom is 2 blame

          Bebe
          Rachael
          Peaking at
          14

          That’s gotta sux
          No wonder

          • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

            Actually I kind of like you/feel bad for you

          • Love is all u need

            Ditto bb
            Here’s a tip
            Stay away from Crls ex gf
            She’s fucking insane
            You think nuts ?

            That giant slob
            Flew 10,000 miles
            Just to search my trash
            And watch me grocery shop

            Be careful
            You don’t know the insanity ur playing w

            I honestly wish u well
            Ur a Babe and an intelligent young lady
            Pursue dreams that are larger than stalking

            And even tho u hate me
            Just Crls bff
            Gf

            Always and forever
            And we stick together

  • ry

    terrified of commenting now bb

    • Kevathens

      Don’t be, a few lecherous people won’t kill the ‘vibes’.

  • nauth boy

    firsties

    • carles #1 fan

      congrats bby

    • Authopedic

      why is this upvoted? general nauth buddy system?

  • ry

    this is art, bb

    lose urself

    in the moment4evr

  • Stalker-wavessssss

    The greatest part of this is$$$

    The haters that actually took the time
    To sort thru various screen names and blog posts alike
    are the biggest fans….

    Dirty birds
    Via misery
    Crls beware the idesof March
    Of ur ankles for that matter

    Appears as tho
    Ur biggest fan
    Has a vendetta
    Lasting _
    Leaking it’s way into ur everyday now
    Don’t be afraid to be you
    For the greatest love of all
    Is learning to love urself

    Now get on up
    And dance
    2da music

    • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

      This you again ME.. how many fucking names do you have…
      if this format of writing was funny.. but what societal trope do youthink you are taking apart with these unfunny format/poem posts.

      • boot me

        I think he’s 17 and started smoking weed? Seems like something I would have thought was cool/interesting then, albeit slightly less terrible.

        • U

          Cumsluts
          And basic internet slobs
          Living off bros cash
          Or mom waves
          Gonna hate

          You have nothing
          Because ur no one

          Me

  • marrr

    So this is going well…
    I’m curious what’s the tactic to get more people to ‘advance the discussion’…

  • http://www.twitter.com/macostarz macostarz

    We are an ‘intimate’ community… Is there such thing as a ‘sensitive’ spam filter?

    Is a system of obligatory captchas for comments by ‘anons’ & drive-by commenters too discriminatory?

    Or maybe too authoritarian?

    Is auth short for ‘authoritative’?

    Whatever happens, don’t want carles.buzz to end up like motherboard (via comment desert) :(

  • HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK

    ME. Manofmanyfucks. NO NAMES. STALKER WAVVVVES. Oh hi bff.

    This Buster is the same poster. Why have we never picked up on this shitty scamlong ago.

    • Rachael

      Hey bb
      U ever Movi g out of moms hotel room?

  • mr_ensimismith

    don’t u dare boot me bb
    i can still contribute relevantly
    i can ‘report’ on inauth trends [via lost in da webz]

    HAS THE CONCEPT OF THE ‘COOL DAD’ ‘SCALED’?

    hey yall
    went to my local BUYBUYBB store 2day
    love how they don’t try to cover up their capitalist intent with confusing sounding names
    just BUYBUYBUY BB!

    no need to b n e thing other than what u r
    stop trying 2 pretend [via rolling around in your own mud]

    got this package for u for father’s day
    no need to ‘overthink’ it bb
    some kewl wayfarers to cover up those failed hopes and dreams
    some lame ass accessories advertising
    I’M THE DADDIE
    towels, cards, anything we can pressure print
    to celebrate the day ur dad jizzed inside ur mom

    • Bronello_Cucinelli

      great work, would love 2 hear your thoughts on #dadbod

  • carles #1 fan

    this sucks i hate this

    • Authopedic

      u r wrong, this is best ever.

      • carles #1 fan

        i havent voted anyone yet but i vote you but i mean come on this is sick, a sick joke, in which i vote for Authopedic k

        • Hummus

          Hey there good looking

          Dinner was simply lovely
          Why is it
          That whenever I see u
          Ur looking supes handsome
          And when u see me
          I’m facing near death moments
          Or stuffing my face?

          Just not fair
          I can’t introduce u to my dad
          He’s wants to farm me out in his elder yrs & I’m taken
          As are u
          But we know how dads dream

          Anyway
          Miss u
          Know that

          I always think
          “Who’s that
          He’s handsome
          Oh it’s
          The
          Number 1—-/

          Geez man’

          Bye
          Me

          • carles #1 fan

            You look beautiful when you are eating adn all the time

            Man dads can be something with their dreams

            I’m bringing home surprise tonight

          • Sweet like a killer b

            (Dad I love you lots )
            I know it would make u supes happy for me to settle down .,,, farm me out for pancakes tho just isn’t right.
            Yea they could see it
            Both my parents know me well nuff that they can tell
            But they know never cross a
            Either
            Esp now that they’ve seen the light..,. (You know how )
            But still I’m like
            No u don’t know tho
            He’s so cute yes but he’s a heartbreaking wild man.
            Plus we kinda talk but like
            Not really. Just stop
            I’ll be ok, I never said I wanted a white picket fence man, really id spend my money on heavy sedatives first. And every cent I ever earned I’d spend again…Waves

            Miss u buddy
            Still miss ur company all the time. Think of you equally as much too
            Lyb
            Even still now I recall the late nights and the special lil things that mean so much

          • Uh no

            bb
            It’s stage 4
            Remeber what we said on xmas eve?

            Call the dude
            Now

  • carles #1 fan

    carles is eating popcorn in an internet cafe watching while we turn on each other

    • Authopedic

      it’s true, it is a beautiful thing.

  • Sierra

    I have a feeling ppl ‘liked’ me and ‘upvoted’ me more back when I was ‘anonymous’ and went by ‘several different names’

    • Boot the poem bro

      Hijacking this comment to vote for whoever posts shitty poems like this:

      “Can you always
      In the solar
      Want red bull
      For question mark?”

      and thinks they’re doing anything funny or cool. We have Carles posting on-point commentary on youth consumption and then some try-hard thinks he “gets it” and wants to “join the fun” “in his own way.” But he hasn’t realized how shitty his own way is.

      He’s gonna cringe at his comments in a few years and doesn’t even realize it, just save him the future embarrassment.

      • Ce Ele

        thats a cool band name. you know like foster the people, portugal the man. i would def chill the eff out to boot the poem bro.

      • Ur website SUxs

        You got so fat dude
        Ur legs are huge

  • KONY_2K12

    bb ur riding these #jeff_probst_waves to a dark place

  • https://twitter.com/theericlarson Obscure Cactus

    willl the donuts be shaped like pussy holes?

    – sent from an old rotary telephone

  • alexander

    is “ME” actually carles, and this is his way to pull the plug, like well, you forced me into it.

  • stewart

    The comment section has been fine

  • The Band

    Hey Natalie!!!!!!!

    Me & Him
    Never
    Lost
    Touch

    Xxxxxxxxx
    All of us

  • ar12

    I vote anyone that writes more than 150 characters.

  • dat_bro06

    a day late and a $1 short:

    some of the ME poems are clever. the pictures r real bad. wish i were an insider and knew who the commenters were IRLzies :-( but nvm. hope Bebs Z is not stalking Carl — she seemed to have ‘turned the corner’ via w/e.

    i hereby vote myself off of the island . . when i come here read the social satire i am tickled but i think it is deleterious 2 my personal development (via ‘impossible is the opposite of possible’)

    by by

  • HollyBroLightly

    …*sigh*…all this therapy…all this outside self-reflection [via strong commitment to the therapeutic process]…all this weeping and hyperventilating…i feel more confused and disoriented than ever before, bb…i guess my wanting to nominate myself is really just a cry for help…

  • Ce Ele

    crls this is mean and “unchill”. anyhoo, I vote for the username ‘Me’ or the guy who
    writes
    like
    this
    with
    stupid songs

    and the guy who posts images that get cropped by disqus’ interface, like the guy from 5th eloquently suggested.

    • Ce Ele

      I just realized I was talking about the same person

  • based upon bored

    Crls is an attention whore all day
    But this is srsly ridiculous.
    Starting a wave of negativity will only come back to haunt you. The lack of anything positive here is sincere and furthermore
    Started by the blogger, which makes zero sense. I for one feel like crls hasn’t revovered from whatever mental anguish he’s currently suffering/// bringing me down with them harsh waves bb
    Hella unfortunate to bit the hand that feeds you, cuz when u get hungry ur gonna have to find food on ur own {when you’re in a bad mood* i cannot say anything
    that won’t hurt you or confuse you}

    Remember kids
    Stay robots

    • marrr

      Carles seems pretty ‘manipulative’*…with or without intention.

      * We’re all really here only because we ourselves want to be here.

  • nauthboy

    when r the polls in

  • stewart

    Long posts<cool

  • H.D. Broreau

    really wish carles would never rise again [via bye bye]

    • 666n666

      It’s easier to get the fans to hate each other. To not admit any personal fault . To blame it on whatever and whomever
      And then blog about Mountain Dew

    • Authopedic

      u can achieve the same results by deleting your carles.buzz bookmark. good luck bb.

      • You

        You could, then in anywhere from one day to a straight wk, you’d begin to wonder what was up again. Somehow you’d wish to see the three basic shades of tshirt via I am Crls
        Me. The stupid contests but the killer photo contributions.
        The black and white cartoon museum of alt art. You keep coming to see this again.
        But evolved because it has
        Then more is better. Update this semi ugly label. Live again
        Raise again. Be reborn
        What came first
        The chicken
        Or the egg

  • Triple crown winner

    Sometimes I honsetly feel like Crls #1 fan is the only person who gets me. Thank you Bebe you saved me again from emotional breakdowns and harsh morning vibes. wtf for even ? Bunch of shit that I’m suppose to just understand or move past from. It’s always the case. In the end tho he always proves to be at fault and in attempts to make things right, digs a deeper hole. This time he brought an army of harsh waves I clearly did not need or dserve at all whatsoever. At this point, I just don’t care. I forgot any reason there was left to remember.
    Miss u #1…. Thanks for the someone to lean on vibes as always and ditto
    Ur always welcome to smoke cigs in my living room, I’ll play u ur favorite album

    • carles #1 fan

      it’s always love

  • taylorvia

    auth is the cc of the future. #nauth forever

    • thisfitdontquit

      yeah and nauth is the cc of the future of the future where auth is the cc of our future. auth = do what makes you happy.